Standing on Your Own Two Feet

A well-designed life, by necessity and definition, includes a variety of people. People we bring into our lives for a variety of reasons. Everyone who is in our life is there because we created the situation that brought them. That can be difficult to accept - let’s face it, some people in our lives cause us annoyance and even pain. Sometimes they want to take from us and not give, sometimes they want us to pay for their mistakes.

This week I experienced the culmination of experience with such a person. I brought him into my life to help make my home more beautiful, last spring and summer. He did make it more beautiful, but was disrespectful with our home, our time, our money and ultimately wanted us to pay for all of his inefficiency and outright fabrications of the truth. Multiple resolution attempts were met with outrageous responses, until I got some excellent help, and the situation went away... not perfectly, but it's over. Leaving me to reflect.

It’s one of those lessons that leaves a bit of a dent in your soul… trust is met with disrespect and lies. People take advantage of patience and undenrstanding. People don’t do what they say they will and then make you responsible for it.

In today’s world, what is the definition of responsibility? Have we become a society of such entitlement that we move around acting however we feel is best for us… and then expecting others to support that regardless of impact on them? When did it become everyone else’s responsibility to correct our own mistakes? Why is it acceptable to blame others for things we cause rather than own our role in our own lives?

I do believe I create everything around me - so what I want to take with me from this is to try not to let that become a basis for self recrimination. Rather, I try to behave and communicate with the same intent and authenticity as I want people to do with me. Therefore, I can create a life I really want, internally and externally.

It’s easy to be disappointed with people, even more so, with ourselves. I encourage you, and me, to learn the lessons and move on – design and live the life YOU choose.